When I sit down at a computer that I plan to use on a regular basis, I send the poor thing through a customized cornucopia of alterations and tweaks to suit my multitasking mind. I need to make a little program that performs all my tasks automagically* with a simple double-click. Many of the things I remove are annoyances that I, like many other computer users, would rather not deal with. On my list of annoyances to change:

I turn off the animated character that "helps" you search your computer. I know that many people find the little doggy cute, or the paperclip in Microsoft Office charming, but I find them as enjoyable as Jar Jar Binks.

I turn off balloon tips. I laugh and cry at the same time when XP tells me *pop* "You have unused icons on your desktop."

I remove Microsoft Messenger from the system. XP tells you it is "critical" to the operation of software installed on the system, but I KNOW THE TRUTH! (baleeted**)

I reveal the file extensions. I don't like to name a file "mynotes.txt" only to find out it is now "mynotes.txt.txt".

I double the size of the taskbar, disable grouping of like items there, enable quicklaunch, show the clock, show all tray icons, use small icons in the start menu, and turn off highlighting recently installed applications.

Do I obsess much? To most people, yes. To other geeks, this is the tip of the iceberg. I draw the line at changing other peoples' computers, but I see techs revamp other peoples' computers and leave a person scratching their head, as if Zorro had just slashed a "Z" into their monitor.

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*Yes, this is a word. I use it with my colleagues every day.

**See homestarrunner.com