As I stood in line at WalMart accompanied by 50 other gamers who were also awaiting the coveted box of Halo3 game discs, I realized that the main character, Master Chief, is the man's Barbie. My rationale:

+ He's human, but NOT. Just like if Barbie was real, she'd break in half, MC stands 7' tall and weighs 1,000lbs in his battle gear. He's larger than life in a way that opens up the character for the imagination.

+ He's faceless (as Barbie had for years been voiceless) to allow imagination to idealize his appearance or to allow a guy to imagine himself in the suit.

+ He accessorizes. Barbie has her corvette, van, and dream house. MC can dual-wield plasma pistols or cruise the battlefield in a Warthog (pictured in back). He can pull a variety of tricks from his armored purse, like plasma grenades or portable shields. For those formal occasions, the Spartan Laser or M41 Rocket Launcher always make a big splash at the parties.

+ He's got a love interest that isn't accessible. Barbie had Ken. Ken was what we called "Smoothie" when we were kids, as in, he wasn't anatomically correct. MC's got an artifical intelligence stuck in a brain implant that he's willing to go to the gates of the enemy to rescue. Dude, she's binary. If she's that important, you shoulda made a backup.

Honestly, Master Chief should be on the cover of GQ. He's got the moves, the attitude, and the guns to bring to the show. By the way, he's an Action Figure. He's not a doll.

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